Amazing Cornucopia of FAIL!
by Come Lady Death
Summary: A little crack with little to no plot written and posted just for fun. Not to be taken seriously. Reviews are nice, flames aren't.


**Disclaimer: This is not meant to make any sort of sense. It pretty much embodies the concepts of crack and plot, what plot? Three of my friends and myself wrote this for fun on a trip. I posted it just for the heck of it. So no flames please. Credits go not just to me, but also to my friends T, AB, and H. Just for reference, ****T is bold,** _AB is italic,_ H is underlined, and I'm normal. And that's the one time you'll hear me say that.

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**Once upon a time, **_there lived a flamingo hunter with severe Tourette's Syndrome. _He also had 184 cats, who helped him hunt. Unfortunately, both he and the cats were blind, so their life was incredibly hard. **They lived in a one room hut in the middle of a swamp that smelled like roses and sunshine. **_One morning, Mr. Bananabafoomba and 183 cats (one- the baby- was holding down the fort), headed into the dark woods for a hunt._

After a long day of fruitless hunting, at last they heard a flamingo! Carefully and silently, they crept up on the bird. **It was the special rainbow colored flamingo, he felt the Force tell him this fact. **_Everything was going just as planned- when all of a sudden _a blue police call box landed right in front of the flamingo (they had developed excellent locational hearing. The bird flew away as the box opened and a man and woman stepped out. **Mr. Bananabafoomba became super angry at them for scaring away his prized rainbow flamingo which if you ate it would give you the ability to blow rainbow bubbles! **_Anyhow- the two police that stepped out of the box were quite irate at Mr. Bananabafoomba's blatant breach of the anti-violence-against-feathered-friends-trust-act._

"Why, this is almost as bad as what Ood Operations was doing to the Ood!" the Doctor exclaimed angrily. Donna, his companion, agreed angrily and started to say something, but then **a pack of red rabbits picked up the irate police officers and dragged them deep into the swamp.** _As it turns out, the red rabbits were part of an elite squad of secret police in an alternate reality - their emotion-sensitive ears had picked up the "irate" signals of the lone human police. _They had been tracking the TARDIS travellers for some time, having sensed their multi-dimensional travels. The rabbits couldn't allow the Doctor and Donna to disrupt this reality, even if that meant that the rainbow flamingo would soon be extinct. **More was at stake than flamingos, like the other realities and of course the hippo-shaped planet that Mr. Bananabafoomba and his 184 cats in his lonely hut lived on. **_The hippo-shaped planet was in danger, however- the crocodile and lion-shaped planets were drawing dangerously close in their orbits, and, unknown to Mr. Bananabafoomba and his numerous felines, an intergalactic [safari] battle was about to commence. _The appearance of the TARDIS had been noticed by the militaries of the crocodile and lion planets, who suspected the hippo planet was thus receiving secret military aid. It was up to the Doctor and Donna, who needed the help of Mr. Bananabafoomba and his cat Fezzik (the other 183 were no help), to make this reality right again. **Hearing all this trouble through the Force he raced after the red secret police rabbits with Fezzik and killed all 1,009,987,685 of them with one bullet and a butter knife! **_But red reinforcements arrived and Chuck Norris was among them... Mr. Bananabafoomba and Fezzik were in trouble until the Doctor and Donna realized that said reinforcements were wearing red shirts and therefore were ultimately doomed. _Accordingly, their numbers were soon diminished due to all manner of killer plants and exploding rocks and such.

When the last red shirted villain was eaten by an alien plant, the Doctor and Donna explained the galactic issues to Mr. Bananabafoomba and Fezzik and asked for their help. **Mr. Bananabafoomba said he would if they gave him a giant rainbow flamingo that laid eggs only blind people could see.** _This proved a minor inconvenience to the Doctor and Donna, as they had to summon a large flock of avian wizards to conjure such a bedazzled flamingo. _With such promise being made, they all whisked off in the TARDIS to visit the lion planet.

Upon arriving, the four were immediately arrested by the short yet vicious denizens of the lion-shaped planet. **They beat off the soldiers and proceeded to the headquarters on the lion planet to end the fight once and for all! **_The final battle began- an epic scene, in which Mr. Bananabafoomba tragically died before he ever saw the mysterious flamingo eggs... but not all was lost!_ Our heroes triumphed over the evil members of the lion planet and with their defeat, the downfall of the crocodile planet was inevitable.

The lion and crocodile planets fell into the sun and while the Doctor regretted the loss of life, everyone had to admit that it was for the best. Fezzik became king of the cats of the hippo planet and they all lived happily until next year.


End file.
